I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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