Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
