please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize