I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
