i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
