i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
