with your own penis?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
