I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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