STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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