Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Drake has all the answers
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
