I wannas sexs uuuuu
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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