I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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