You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
