How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
God I need to hump something, right now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
