Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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