Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
