dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
