You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
