Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
