paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
