you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
