i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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