I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
