They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
