I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
