did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
