Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
