I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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