why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize