Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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