call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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