he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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