And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize