WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
