WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
