literally had 100 drinks last night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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