whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
