This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
