my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
