Will you blow on my dice?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
