i don't like sucking hair
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
