Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
