i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
