idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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