my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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