weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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