I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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