I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
