i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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