I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
