Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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