it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
