The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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