If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
