I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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