apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
