Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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