Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
