I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
