I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
