he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize