I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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