He managed to light the Jello on fire...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
