Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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