so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
