he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize