The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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