And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
