eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
