"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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