we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
from now on my penis is your penis
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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