dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I won't apologize to a one balled man
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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