My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
