wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize