Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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