I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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