you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize