i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
