I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
