Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
